10 Things You Might Not Know About Me.


This is not an original IDEA, but rather a suggestion from a girl who wrote a book titled "this i know....notes on unraveling the heart.  Her name is Susannah Conway and (drum roll, please) tomorrow I get to meet  her!  It's a date my daughter dreamed up and I am so excited.  ANYWAY.  Just in case Susannah asks, I want to say "YES! I have tried out some of the suggestions in your book".  And if she asks, I will say "YES! I am living bravely and truthfully." 

1. I am married to my high school sweetheart and even though we've been married for almost 30 years, sometimes I get a little embarrassed or shy (or something like that) around him.
2. I have 2 children and they came to me in the order I always dreamed of (girl first and then a boy).  My children mean the world to me.  The world.  Now that they are adults, whenever we part, I begin a countdown of days until I see them again.
3. If I have any regrets, it is that I did not have another child.  Maybe two more.
4. I buy magazines for the pictures and I actually LOVE looking at pictures over and over and over --which you wouldn't know if you were inside my house-- because all of the art on my walls, (nearly all the art) is made up of words. I have been known to purchase the same exact  magazine more than one time AND I prefer to buy them at the grocery store rather than subscribe.  I find pure delight in cutting out words from magazines. Oh. And the magazines I prefer are about  home making.  
5. Dream job?  Owning my own coffee shop/bakery spot where the walls are decorated with my daughters art.  Books would be for sale as well.  And I would wear an apron. Live music on the weekends. Loads of content customers wondering how in the world they ever lived without that cinnamon roll in their mouth.....
6. Guilty Pleasure? Falling asleep on the couch while watching t.v.  Pleasure made complete if the hubby is rubbing my hair while I fall.
7. 2 dogs live INSIDE my house and this is not one bit what I imagined it would be like.  Although one dog makes me laugh every single day and the other dog makes me feel safe no matter what, I am not a "dog person".  Yet here I am, learning to deal with all the  "stuff" that goes along with two dogs inside the house. (and my heart)
8. I think reality t.v. is an idiotic concept.  It's a little scary to live in a world along side so many people who believe reality t.v. is a good idea.  
9. When I make cookies, I enjoy the dough so much more than the actual cookies.  Baking is a waste of time and energy.
10. I grew up attending Sunday School religiously.  I sure  felt like a big fat liar singing "Jesus loves me, this I know" after my mom died of a brain aneurysm when she was 33 and I was 7.   It mostly felt like if he loved me, then she would come back to life like he did, at Easter.  Or maybe she wouldn't die in the first place.  It's weird and mixed up to lie in church and pretend to know something  about love.

A Good Dad

Fathers Day is 3 days away and I'm feeling pretty blessed to have had a good dad.   Every once in awhile the father of my children will say, right out loud, "gee. I miss your dad"....and those words, though simple, are profound in my ears and they soothe my heart in a way that only love can.   He passed away in 2000 - I guess that makes it 12 years ago - and I still can hear the sound of his jolly laugh and remember the way it felt to be in the same room with him.  (safe. secure. sure.)  A treasured dad memory I have is he and I laying on the family room floor of our mobile home on Lake Lyons Road one hot summer afternoon.  He played his guitar and we sang Don't It Make You Wanna Go Home  (made popular?? by Joe South in the early 70's??).
 I wonder what makes me remember that moment. (I don't recall  any other detail, big or small, about that day.)  I wonder if I knew all the words while I sang along or if I made some up, and I wonder if we sang the song more than once?  More than anything, I wonder this:   if dad were still alive, would HE recall this special moment in time that is safe in my memory; making me feel sure that I was blessed to have a good dad.  Here's the link of Joe South singing the song so you can listen to the tune and the lyrics....they're good! Just like my dad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bsR1k453SA

.The smell of Gazillion

As a little girl I remember, with distinction, the way it felt walking into Aunt Bobbies house.  Visits to her house were frequent, rarely scheduled, and always pleasant.  Aunt Bobbie had a front door, a sliding glass "back" door that went to her patio, and a door located in the garage that entered  her laundry room.  I'm pretty sure THIS door was the one most often used  by the countless people who dropped by Aunt Bobbies house in the same casual fashion that I did.  The handle on the door felt familiar, the first glance through the door's window  revealed an always tidy laundry room.   The sounds beyond the closed door were those of LIFE! Lots of people talking, more of them laughing & the comforting, chaotic sound of something delicious happening in the kitchen!!  At the threshold of the door, just as it would swing open toward those happy sounds inside - I was always delighted with "the smell" of Aunt Bobbies house.  Pressed to describe the scent, I would fail miserably. Candles weren't in vogue during those days and Scentsy hadn't even been invented - so the aroma was far and away from "warm vanilla spice" or "3 Wild Berry Breeze".   The scent was subtle, unique, and something I miss terribly since she has been gone.   I found  a great  sense of security walking into that house where I knew I was always welcome and always loved beyond measure and where it smelled like....well, Aunt Bobbies house. 

Yesterday  my own front door swung open wide to welcome a bright, energetic, beautiful little Miss who giggled wildly at the raucous greeting she received from Toby and Henry.  (two dogs who think they run the place.) As she walked through  the entry hall and into the messy living room, she breathed deeply and took a little ballet esque turn.  With a smile on her face she said "Oh! It smells like your house".  Ever concerned that the "greeting committee" have created a subtle dog like odor in the house,  (YUCK)  I said "Oh, honey. Does it smell like dog?" 
Still twirling, she said "Oh, no! Aunti Carol! It smells......." and then she was at a loss for words.  She stopped moving. Breathed in again and confirmed:  "it smells really good here.  I like it".    She then continued to bounce around the house chattering about a gazillion happy things.

I can almost SMELL the gazillion happy things that are in my heart.